A week with friends

Hi my lovlies,
Another post from me today WOW!

At my new school we get three weeks Christmas holidays so for the first week I decided to go back to where I used to live to spend a week with my family and friends.

I arrived on Friday evening and spent the time relaxing.

On Saturday sophie came round to my house and we had a lovely catch up, put up my grandparents mini christmas tree and then went shopping for Christmas presents with her mum and brother.
I managed to get my cousin Emily's presents and cicelys presents.

On Sunday I met with Anna and kim and we went to town. We walked around and I bought some more Christmas presents and then we decided to get Chinese for lunch. We ended up walking all over the town to fund a Chinese which was open and In the end decided to come back later in the evening and get tesco lunch haha.
We then walked back to my house and they helped me wrap all the presents I had bought.
In the evening we went and got a massive Chinese feast and it was amazing!!

On Monday I met with Emily and we just watched Christmas films on the sofa and ate junk food which we bought from Iceland. It felt normal seeing her after so long and it really was such a good day.

On Tuesday I met with Emily and kim and again we just layed on the sofa watching Christmas films and eating junk food.
In the afternoon I went to Costa with Maddie and Collie and we had a good chat up and talked for hours.

On Wednesday I went shopping with Emily and kim to get Christmas presents.
I had no more to buy for my family so I just bought myself some clothes and make up with some vouchers I had left over.
Once we had shopped we went to nandos for lunch and it was so good.
We then rushed back home to meet Anna in town but she had forgotten we were meant to meet so we all just went home.
It was sad to say goodbye to kim as I wasn't going to see her again before I left so we had an emotional goodbye.

Thursday was my last day back with everyone so I relaxed with my family in the morning.
I went to say goodbye to Emily in Costa and it was very emotional and we cried.
After seeing Emily I went to my old school to visit everyone during lunch. I ran t meet Maddie and Collie at the school entrance and they took my to their form room to see everyone.
I saw the rest of my old school group and then I saw Anna and Avneet.
I then went upstairs to see Ronnie Vidyha and Tika who I didn't have time to see during the week as they still had school.
I also got to say goodbye to Sophie as I couldn't see her again as I was seeing family in the evening.
It was so nice to go back to my old school to see everyone.

So that's my week seeing family and friends.

Peace love Iz x

First admission at new hospital

Hi my lovelies,

At the end of November I was admitted to my new hospital for a two week course of IV's.

It was my third lot of IV's this year which for me is quite a lot as most years I've not even had IV's.

I was very nervous about how the new ward and my new cf team would be while I was in for the two weeks but overall everyone was super nice and made my stay as bareable as possible.

My LF dipped up and down throughout the stay so reckon I will need some more IV's pretty soon.

They only negative thing from my hospital stay was the long line situation.

I arrived in the evening of the first day but as it was quite late my Dr (who was putting my line in) couldn't make it as he overran with another patient, so I was given a cannula in my hand which was temp until my dr was free.

However my dr never managed to be free so I eneded up having all the junior Drs trying to put long lines in my arm instead and no offence to them but they where crap.

I could tell they where putting my line in wrong each time but they wouldn't listen to me and instead left the line in half up my arm. Each time any Ivs went up my line went bright red and tracked but it wasn't until my dr came two days later that they finally took it out.

In the end I was told that I had bad veins and that I would have to live off cannulas for two weeks and as I'm scared of needles this terrified me.

My cf nurse also started talking to me about getting a port which I think I will say yes to although I'm not sure it's needed as normally my veins are always pretty good and I have a strong feeling that it was the junior Drs fault it went wrong, but as this is my new hospital I don't really have much choice as I don't want to be prodded by needles everyday.

Anyway that's about all the bad stuff that happened.

Other than that physio was the same and they managed to find things I actually enjoyed to do (exercise wise).

I spent the majority of the two weeks lying in bed watching Christmas movies and online shopping.

School did send lots of work but I barely had the energy to move so I didn't do much.

Anyway that's basically all I wanted to say about my first stay at my new hospital.

Peace love Iz x

Its hard

Hi my lovelies,
So today you have two posts from me because I didn't want to start making all my posts turn negative.
Also wanted to say that there are some lovely people at my new school and I'm so grateful to know them!!!!!

Anyway I wanted to address something else...
Having Cystic Fibrosis is a life long battle and I just feel as if people should be more educated on this illness.
People always comment saying that we don't 'look ill' or that we have it easy being in bed all day when we are off school but the reality is so far off.
On days that we may look well, inside we are fighting. We can hardly breathe walking up stairs and getting too out of breathe causes mass coughing fits.
I know that this illness differs from person to person but I wish people would appreciate all we go through.

I find it horrible seeing my CF buddies go through pain. Cicely is in hospital for a six week admission and is being so brave about it. I think everyone who reads this should send her loves to cheer her upppp!!!!

Updates...
So I went for clinic last week and my lung function still isn't great. They took a cough swab and some bloods to try and get to the bottom of what was wrong. After getting the results they found I had a throat infection and that my bloods where fine.
I'm going for an appointment on Monday to hopefully kill this infection as it's causing me to have chest pains and I'm finding it hard to walk anywhere.

Today my colomycin ran out, meaning that I can finally stop using me eflow and move onto my ineb (which is charging right now) I'm actually super exited because it means that my treatment time each day should be reduced.



Well that's all for today guys, sorry if my posts are not well structured I just write what comes to my mind.

Peace love Iz x

Half term

Hi lovelies,
I'm not leaving it so long since the last post now ;)

Half term
So over half term I went back to where I used to live to see my wonderful family and friends. I filled up everyday with exiting plans with my friends. It was so nice to see them all as these people have become more like family to me and are people I can share my life with.
Moving away from them has defiantly made me appreciate them all more.

On the first day that I met up with people I saw Emily and Anna. We met in town, bought junk food and cuddled on the sofa watching films. It was such a lovely day and as soon as I was with them I just felt normal again.

This was such a funny day, we hid in Kim's den all day and the ate Chinese food on the side of the road like complete butters but like Anna said it was to avoid indigestion, hahahahaha!

I went to London with Maddie and Collie. We went shopping, saw Jamie Laing and had such a cute day eating mini pancakes and looking in the Disney shop.

 Met Emily and Kim and we went for a autumn walk in the woods and just danced around in the leaves ;)

I also met with Sophie to see Frankenstein with Benedict Cumberbatch and the we went to see our old drama groups performance of Loserville which is so amazing.

I also had snuggles with me family and had a lovely time with them but nothing too interesting happened ;)

Ok that's it for half term updates.

Peace love Iz x

Autumn updates

Hi everyone :)
Sorry I haven't posted in ages but my life has been super busy since August.

To start with I got my results and I can't believe how well I did. I missed a month of school just before exams and managed to get 1A* 2A 4B 1C! I'm over the moon I actually managed to pass them all.
After getting my results and I had to make one of the biggest decisions of my life...
If I should move to live with my dad and leave my grandparents. In the end I decided to move and start a new life in a new city, three hours away from my family.
I started a new sixth form and a new hospital.
School is ok but I'm now doing A levels, and taking Philosophy and Ethics, Politics, Business and Geography.

CF
As I moved house I also had to change hospitals. Although I'm now 16 and should be moving up to adult care, we decided that to settle me in to a new environment I should go to children's for a few months first.
Over summer I have been the healthiest I've ever been in my life but a few weeks ago my health started to get worse. I couldn't walk to school and general breathing was difficult.
My dr has started me on two new inhalers to relieve some of my airways and prevent inflammation.

My inhalers...

I've also been warned that if my LF doesn't go up within the next few weeks I will have to have IV's for the third time this year. To be honest I really can't be bothered to fight this illness anymore, it's hurt people I love and it's draining me. CF sucks.

It's currently half term so I'm back with my grandparents after two months and I'm so happy to see them.

I was hoping to post more on this blog but so much has been going on recently that I never seemed to find time and I had so much tell say I didn't know where to start.

Life
I've already done my life updates above but I just wanted to have an emotional rant.
I didn't want to use this blog as an outlet, but I've decided that as it's my blog I can write what I want and right now I'm feeling shit.
I'm not completely happy that I moved and I feel as if over time I will regret it more and more and I feel like I have no one because all my family and close friends live almost three hours away and I feel so alone.
Coming home was a huge wake up call because it made me realise what I had and what I've lost by moving. It's made me appreciate my life before and see that I actually did have a good life which I've now thrown away. I feel like it's all too late now.
Cf is starting to effect me more and more and I don't have the will power to fight it right now. I feel like I'm letting this illness take over me and I can't stop it...I don't know how to without it destroying me.
I guess I have just got to be strong and live for those people who mean so much to me.







Well sorry for that depressing end to my first blog post in ages, I just thought I should be honest with everyone. It's also made me feel slightly better for getting it out.



That's it for today people :)

Peace love Iz x

What CF means to me

Hi everyone,
Sorry I never kept to my every other day promise but I have been so busy and also lost ideas for this blog but the other day I saw this amazing cf blog http://cystikone.wordpress.com/category/adventure/ and he did a post on what CF really was to him and I really liked some of the things he said so I decided I would do my own version of that.
Credit to him.


What's CF really is...
CF is not wanting to plan your future because you don't know how long it will last,
It's waking up each day to hundreds of pills,
It's nebs and physio,
It's the feeling of giving up everyday because nothing helps anyway,
It's crying yourself to sleep because those you love are suffering from this fricking illness and you can even be there for them,
It's getting chest infections all the time,
It's worrying that going to that sleepover or swimming in that pool might make you ill,
It's getting grief from class mates because 'your never in school' so must be bunking,
It's taking pills every time you eat,
 And it's also pain. Not being able to breath as well as you should.

The other blog also wrote the positives of what CF was to him so here's what they are for me...

CF is being stronger because you have no other choice,
It's having a second family in hospital because you are there so often,
It's making amazing friends who can relate to what you are going through,
It's taking each day as it comes,
It's being strong for your family,
And it's being able to eat fricking tonnes of food ;)

I would like to credit this blog again, I completely took the idea and in no way will I take the credit. I just wanted to add its importance to my blog, so if I took this idea from your blog then I'm sorry but your idea was fab.


Life...
So usual life updates part.
Well I've been on holiday and now I'm in Sussex.

I've had my 16th birthday and now a lot of stuff is changing. For starts I'm going from DLA to PIP which is a huge change and I'm also talking more about transition which is scary.


My cousin bought me 5sos tickets so I will be able to cross something off my bucket list and I'm so exited! She also made me the best mixtape which I will for sure be listening to on repeat when I'm ill or down to make me feel better.

Here are some pictures from my birthday...

I had a lovely day in Brighton and I was so happy.

That's it for today lovelies.

Peace love Iz x

Life updates and the start of summer

Hello lovelies,
Finally my exams are done so I will hopefully be able to get back to writing blog posts every other day.

CF...
So my lung function seems pretty good at the moment and to keep it this way I've started to do more exercise which does cause tightness in my chest but I guess I will have to get over that. Otherwise steriods are being reduced and I'm working very hard to keep it that way!

A huge down side to CF is that we cannot meet others with CF as we will catch super bugs from eachother, I hate this because it means we can only support eachother over the internet and it sucks because these amazing people understand what I'm going through and can relate with me and I would love to be able to support them all in person.



Life...
As it's summer and school has finished lots of exiting things have been happening...
In the past week my amazing and beautiful friends organised me a leaving party (more on that in another blog), I've had a late birthday party for one of my best friends and finally prom.

Prom was such an exiting night, everyone looked so glamourous and it was so emotional to be with my entire year again. The night itself was great fun toward the end when everyone started to let their hair down and enjoy themselves.

Here are some pictures from my prom...

Yesterday I went to see The Fault in Our Stars, it was the first time I've cried at a film and it left me feeling quite empty and sad.
The book and film really made me think about life and living with my CF and just learning to make the most of live while you can and just be selfless.
For anyone who hasn't seen the film I really recommend you do.

Finally today I went rowing down a beautiful river, it was so relaxing and it helped me escape from life for a few hours. I really love being surrounded by wildlife.

So that's it's for now, I hope this was interesting!

Peace love Iz x

Awareness month

Hey my lovelies.
Sorry I've been rubbish this month with keeping this blog up to date...exams have just been very stressful and I haven't had much time to just do nothing.
It's half term now so hopefully I will get a few posts up this week.

So lots of stuff has happened recently...

Firstly I had my CF clinic which I go to every two months...
At clinic they check my lung function, take a cough swab and ask me a ton of question.
My lung function has increased for 50% to around 80% which is really good and my weight is almost back up to what it should be.

So I guess you would think that's a good thing right...
Well to be honest I'm not feeling so great about it because it scares me, every time I get better I just end up going through the process of getting worse and it just tires me. Ergh fck CF.
I know I'm lucky to be well though.
Then I see my friends with CF suffering and it makes me mad because it's not fair.

My clinic letter came home as well and it was the most one sided thing ever. My dr wrote that I had promised the dietitian to increase my food supplements which is the biggest lie ;) none of the things he said in the letter I had agreed to but oh well. Haha.

As it's half term I'm back in Sussex which means I'm back in the contryside, so I've decided to do exercise like I've promised my physio. This week I've been on two walks and could really feel benefits from it which was so great. Annnnd I got some pretty pictures for my Instagram ;p

Last thing cf related is that...
It's CF awareness month, so I waned to raise money for the trust and also be more open about my CF so I can learn not to be embarrassed by it.
And HRH Prince Charles become the patron of the cf trust which hopefully means more awareness will be raised so we can be closer to finding a cure.



My life
Erm really all my life has been over the last few weeks is revision and exams but I have been loving a few things...
TV show Orphan Black.
Youtubers...the Saccone Jolys (been watching them for two years) and recently started watching ChewingSand (Hazel Hayes).
Made in Chelsea (it's on right now and I'm missing it because I'm writing this).
And also bubble baths because they are so relaxing.

Had the best tiramisu ice cream today...

So that's it from me today, now I'm going to watch hollyoaks!

Peace love Iz x

So much

Heya!
Sorry I didn't do a post at the weekend but I literally had no time.
I have so much to talk about in this post so I really hope it's not boring.

Over the weekend I remembered that one of my cousins was doing a 10k charity run sometime this year and I wanted to donate to it.
I went onto her facebook to find out how and I saw she had singed up with virgin money giving...but the thing that made me feel so emotional and cry so much was the fact she is raising money for cystic fibrosis.
I know that lots of my family donate to the cf trust but the fact she is training to do a run and donate for cf just made me feel so proud and just show me that I have an amazing family.

Will post the link on my next post so y'all can donate and support my beautiful cousin.

On Saturday me and one of me stunning best friends went to buy our prom dresses. I now own a pretty dress wooooo. We both got dressed up to show her family and it made me all teary because she looked fab and it was just emosh.

My dress...

My shoes (they don't fit well)...

So finally today I had my scripted drama controlled assessment. As I've been in hospital for lots of this year I didn't have a group to go into so my teacher decided I could do it with her reading in.

Thankfully my school also said that it didn't matter how badly it went and that they don't care what grade I get so that's ok.

It was really funny though as me and my teacher both fucked it up and I also forgot what the name of my character was and had a little panic ;)

So that's it for today guys and remember to look out for my cousins donating page in my next blog so you can donate and help find a cure for cf!

Peace love Iz x

A little break

Hey!
Haha so I know I've only just started this thing but as my exams are coming up and revision is starting to stress me out I've decided that I'm only going to write a post once or twice a week until they are done (sorry)!

So today I handed in my prom form and can't wait to get my dress and actually own something pretty instead of jeans and hoddies.

Thanks to my amazing cousin I now have new fab music to listen to on my iPod which include...
One direction
More 5sos
AM
All time low

Drama at school is slightly stressing me as I have to learn all my lines for Monday and I only know half of them so far...shite.


Mmmm what else has happened...
The dentists canceled on me which is great as I didn't want them to pull my baby tooth out.
My doctors haven't confirmed at date for clinic which made me annoyed but I think it's on my last day of school so I will probably miss leavers assembly.

Yah so that's it for today, will do a better post on Saturday or Sunday. As soon as exams are done I will do this thing every other day again. I promise ;)))

Be swaggy ;) or sweggy!

Peace love Iz x